


The Savior of God

by ProPinkist



Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Angst, Family, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, So much angst, request fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-05-05 08:47:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5369102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProPinkist/pseuds/ProPinkist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ik-soo wanted to help everyone he met... but was there anyone who could help him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Savior of God

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ColourlessZero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColourlessZero/gifts).



> This was a request from ColourlessZero on Tumblr, who wanted... this. This was more difficult than anything I've ever done before, and it hurt my heart so much to write... but I hope I did it justice. So sorry for taking so long, but I hope it's what you wanted!

More than anyone, Ik-soo wanted to make Yoon happy.

He had come across many, many children in Yoon’s situation during his travels, and he had always wanted to help them. They were all sweet to him, but obviously more weary and worn down from starvation and disease than any child should ever be forced to be. He was able to give one of the golden beads he had received from his master to each of the children he had come across up until now, but the last one had been given to the family he met right before Yoon.

Ironically, even though Ik-soo had nothing to give him, Yoon had been the kindest and most wanting of his company than any of the others. He had attacked an injured him in an attempt to get any food he had on him, but once Ik-soo had made it clear he had nothing, Yoon had invited him to stay at his house that night, and had rubbed medicine on his wound when he thought he was sleeping. It warmed his heart more than he could say, and when Yoon expressed his desire to have more books to read, more knowledge, he knew he wanted to make that dream a reality. Because he deserved it all, and more.

Ik-soo may not be able to help everyone, but he was certain he could help Yoon. It was the least he could do.

Yoon was very quick to learn how to make the straw sandals, even better than his own, and so he would be able to make them to trade for food; any bit would allow him to survive. Although Ik-soo wished he could bring him with him, he knew he sometimes attracted some… unsavory people… and besides, Yoon probably didn’t want to be with him and have to deal with his constant clumsiness all the time. He was a bright child, and Ik-soo trusted that he would be okay now on his own.

He would miss him while he was gone, but he was determined to bring back some books for him. It would take a long while to get to the capitol, but he would make it. He had been wondering around with no real goal in mind before except to try to help those he met, but now he had a sure purpose, someone who was counting on him.

He wouldn’t let him down.

 

* * *

 

“What do you want?”

The middle-aged woman peered at Ik-soo suspiciously, standing in the doorway of her “home”. It was hard to call it that, since it was little more than a shack, just like all the others in this place.

“I do not mean to trouble you,” Ik-soo began quickly. “I only wished to ask if you needed guidance from God; I can convey his wisdom to you, or anything you wish to tell him to him.”

The woman scoffed a little. “So you’re a priest, eh? My son always used to talk about God too; believed that he would help us. …And I suppose he did. Not in the way we would have preferred, but nonetheless, he helped him.”

Ik-soo brightened. “Oh, you have a son? Where is he now? I am happy such good fortune was brought to him.”

“He’s training in the military,” the woman replied. “…It’s the best we could ask for.”

“T-the military?” Ik-soo repeated, his heart sinking. “Oh my… I’m so sorry, that must be difficult.” He put his hands together slowly, bowing his head a little. “I shall pray for his safe return to you soo-“

_“No, you don’t understand!”_ the woman interrupted harshly, to which he flinched back from a bit. “I don’t _want_ Ji-eun to return! Him being enlisted was the best thing that could have happened to him, as I said. He doesn’t deserve a life in this trash dump, this place where you slowly wither away into nothingness… there is nothing but desolation for him here.” She trailed off, taking a deep breath and wrapping her thin arms around herself tighter. “…At least there he has a warm home, meals that can be _called_ meals… and a purpose. Even if that purpose is fighting for a ruler who doesn’t care about people like us in the slightest.”

Ik-soo bit his lip, trying not to cry, at least not right now. “Have you… heard from him at all? I’m sure he misses you dearly, even so.”

The woman flinched a little, but tried to resume her stern appearance. “…He sends me letters all the time, and sometimes with money. But I never read any of them, or accept the money. If I did, then I’d have to write back… and that would make him want to come home. I can’t make him stop sending me money, but I can at least not strengthen his connection with me any more than it already has been by writing to him.”

“But… but…” Ik-soo struggled for words. “…It’s natural for a child to want to help their parent in any way they can. You should accept his generous gifts, because he loves you and wants to support you. Even if you don’t want him to return, you can tell him that; you should just at least let him know you got the letters and money. If you don’t ever reply…” His voice wavered a little. “…Then he might not know you’re alright.”

“Of course he does, you silly man,” the woman rebuked, though her voice was weaker than before. “If he thought I was dead and gone, he wouldn’t keep sending me money. I…” She paused. “…I know I should accept the money, but that would mean opening the letters, and I can’t…” The woman trailed off.

“Just read one,” Ik-soo encouraged. “Read the most recent one, to see how Ji-eun has been doing as of late, see everything he has accomplished, people he has met. Even if you don’t write back, just read it. …I am sure it will make you happy.” He smiled imploringly.

The woman stared at him silently for what felt like ages, and finally heaved a weary sigh.

“…I’ll think about it.”

 

* * *

 

Ik-soo was on the road between villages in the Fire Tribe, just when the first signs of autumn were beginning to show, when he stumbled across someone.

He heard a small whimper and rustle coming from the bushes on the side of the path, and moved towards them curiously.

“Is someone there? No need to hide,” Ik-soo said gently.

He pushed aside the bushes as best he could without falling flat on his face, and was surprised at what he found.

It was a little boy, clearly from one of the villages, and a dog. The dog was mangy, and obviously not in the best of health, but from the way the boy held onto him, it was clear that he cared for the creature.

“And who might you be? Come on out, I won’t hurt you,” Ik-soo coaxed, sitting down so he was at their level. But the boy only furiously shook his head and shrank back into the bushes more.

“N-no! You can’t take us back, I won’t go!!” After a moment of squeezing his eyes shut, he seemed to realize Ik-soo wasn’t saying anything. He opened his eyes again warily, and something seemed to click.

“Wait… you’re not from the village… I don’t recognize you!” His eyes widened, looking somewhat hopeful. “Mister, please don’t tell anyone you saw us! We’re fine, don’t worry; don’t let us bother you!!”

Ik-soo couldn’t help but smile at little at the boy’s attempts to seem inconspicuous, but he couldn’t just leave him alone, despite his wishes.

“You’re not bothering me,” he said kindly. “Tell me, are you lost? Do you live in the village nearest here?” But his words were not what the boy wanted to hear.

“I can’t tell you!!” he exclaimed, drawing away from Ik-soo’s reach. “We can’t go back there, either of us… no matter what!”

“Please, tell me what’s wrong,” Ik-soo implored. “I won’t take you back until I hear what you have to say; I only want to help you, because I’m worried about you. Please.” He held his arms out, welcoming.

After a long moment, the boy slowly stood up, and shuffled towards Ik-soo, sitting down next to him. He never let go of the dog, Ik-soo noticed, who sat down as well with a whine.

“What’s wrong?” he asked again, slowly stroking the boy’s head.

“We… we had to run away because…” His eyes filled with tears, and he blurted out the rest in a rush. _“because they were going to hurt Jin!!_ They were going to take him away from me because they said we need food and that there was nothing else we could do and… and… I can’t let them take him away from me!”

He buried his face into the dog, as if it would vanish right before his eyes if he didn’t cling onto it for dear life. Ik-soo stared at the two, dumbfounded and horrified… and yet it made so much sense.

And yet… Who would do that to a child? Take away their only friend, companion, someone they obviously loved with all their heart, in such a cruel way? Even if the family _were_ to use it for sustenance, it would only be a brief reprieve… and who knew how safe it was, anyway.

…But he also knew that extremely desperate times called for desperate measures. Having an animal around as a pet was practically unheard of in any place, and this dog was a source of food for them, free for the taking. To not take this opportunity would be foolish. Even if it would only fill their bellies up for a short time, it still would likely provide so much more than they had ever known. …The dog wasn’t long for this world anyway, so it wouldn’t be much different if it died now as opposed to weeks, or even days, later.

…He didn’t know what to do. The child definitely needed to be returned to his family, no question about that… but he wasn’t confident he could convince them to change their minds. Just the idea of betraying this kid when he had asked him to put his trust in him made him more upset than he could say… he was caught between a rock and a hard place. As a priest, he was supposed to wish for the wellbeing of everyone, but what if not everyone could be happy in this  situation?

“H-Hey…” Ik-soo said weakly, turning the boy around to face him. “Please, tell me your name? I’m sorry your parents are trying to take your friend from you… If you let me take you home, I’ll try to talk to them, what do you say? …You can’t stay out here alone; they must miss you terribly.”

The boy flinched a little at Ik-soo’s words, still gripping the dog behind him with one little hand. “…My name is Sun-woo… please help me… save him… please…” Sun-woo sniffled again, wiping his eyes roughly.

“…I will try,” Ik-soo finally said, knowing he couldn’t lie. “Come on, let us go.” He took Sun-woo’s hand, pulling him up gently, and led him along back in the direction he had come to the previous village. The dog trotted beside him, and Ik-soo’s heart clenched when he saw how contentedly the boy pet him. He dreaded how this would end, but at the same time, his conscience wouldn’t allow him to not at least _try_.

When they reached the village, they hadn’t been inside long before they heard the call of “Sun woo!!” from someone, and Ik-soo soon saw that it was a young woman. She rushed up to meet them, panting heavily, and surrounding her legs were two other children, girls, who looked the same age as Sun-woo. All of them were dressed in the same rags he was, not to Ik-soo’s surprise.

“Where have you _been_?! You should know better than to just run off like that!” the woman cried, hugging Sun-woo. He didn’t say anything in response, just stood silently while his mother fretted over him, looking at the ground. His siblings didn’t react in any way either, just stared at him worriedly.

Finally, the woman pulled back a bit, and finally noticed Iksoo.

“Did you find him? Thank you so much; I… I wish there was some way I could repay you.” She bowed deeply, but Ik-soo should his head quickly.

“Not at all, do not trouble yourself. I wanted to make sure he got home safely.”

She seemed to relax at that, straightening again, and then she saw the dog next to them, which was sitting patiently and wagging its tail. “Oh, it’s you… good.” She went to pet it awkwardly, but Sun-woo grabbed onto it again before she could.

_“Don’t touch him!!_ I heard you and Daddy talking last night, about how you’re gonna take Jin away from me! You can’t have him, he’s my friend and I won’t let you hurt him!”

The mother inhaled sharply at his outburst, drawing back slowly. “…So that’s why you ran away.” She pursed her lips together, and paused for a moment, before sighing. “Listen, sweetie…” she began gently. “It’s very important that you listen to what I have to say – “

“If I may interject,” Ik-soo interrupted, causing the woman to look up sharply, almost as if she had forgotten he was still there.

“I… Would there perhaps be another solution? I heard about the situation from Sun-woo here… Jin is very precious to him, I would hope he doesn’t have to lose his friend. He means so much to him.” Ik-soo floundered for words, knowing that what he was saying was inadequate persuasion… and apparently the woman thought so too.

“Oh, you _know_ our situation, do you?” she snapped. “You know, and yet you’re _still_ telling us to give up a veritable feast that’s right in front of us?! We’re _starving_ in this place, we’re DYING. Every day, the pain in our stomachs gets worse and worse, and we tried to hold off on this for as long as we could, but we just can’t any longer. Any longer, and we’ll die. It doesn’t matter that once it’s gone, it will be gone; at least it will sustain us, keep us _alive_ for some more time!! …Of course I don’t want to hurt my son in this way, but it’s preferable to him being DEAD. You would dare tell us to put aside our needs, what we so _desperately_ need, in favor of _sentimentality?_ It doesn’t look like you’re much better off than us, so no, you have no right to tell us to “look for another solution” when you can’t provide that solution yourself.”

Ik-soo felt as if he’d been struck, and the feeling was only intensified by the sound of Sun-woo sobbing while holding onto the dog again, both because of what his mother was saying, and the fact that she had become so angry at all. Her other children, too, were visibly crying now, hiding behind her legs to get away from the strange man who their mother obviously did not like.

“Y-You’re right… I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he stuttered out, tears streaming down his cheeks as much as he tried to hide them. “Everything you said is true, I-I just thought-“

“I know you did,” the woman interrupted. “I wish we could afford to think like you. But we can’t. A meal is a meal, that’s all there is to it.”

“You…” Sun-woo began, whirling around suddenly to face Ik-soo. “I hate you! I knew you wouldn’t be able to help Jin!! I should never have let you take us back, I _hate_ you!”

Despite what his instincts told him, Ik-soo crouched down and pulled Sun-woo into a hug, ignoring his violent attempts to squirm out of his arms, hiccupping sobs the whole time.

“Sun-woo… I know nothing will truly be able to help…” Ik-soo started, his voice cracking. “…But I believe Jin will be happy to know he’ll be able to help you, because he loves you, just as you love him. …I have the power to pray to God, so I will convey my wishes to him to look after Jin for you in the sky. I know he will do it for you.”

“…So you’re a priest, hm?” the mother remarked, though her voice sounded much weaker and lacked the anger it had before. “…Of course you believed that we could be saved just by a miracle, then. …But God doesn’t exist. If he did, he would have long since saved us, and everyone like us, by now.”

_“Something like ‘God’… doesn’t exist.”_

_Yoon…_ Ik-soo’s heart ached even more.

“P-Please leave,” Sun-woo’s mother said, strained. “You haven’t helped here at all.”

After a moment, he stood up silently, feeling the angered stares of everyone in the group, and made his way to the entrance of the town.

He didn’t look back.

 

* * *

 

“Please…” Ik-soo whispered. “I have nothing that would interest you anymore…”

He was standing just outside the capitol, and three bandits had cornered him. They had their weapons drawn… and yet, somehow, their hearts didn’t seem to be in it.

“L-look, I’m just like you,” Ik-soo implored. “So many have taken everything from me already; I don’t have anything of any value left. I would help you if I could… I-I would pray for your happiness and guidance from Go-“

“You _must_ have _something_ ,” the bandit closest to Ik-soo insisted. “T-there have been rumors about you everywhere, about the “priest” that travels around trying to help people, who carries golden beads. …We need them for our families, so just give us some and we won’t hurt you!”

Ik-soo’s eyes filled with tears for what felt like the hundredth time within the past few months. “I don’t have them anymore; I gave the last one away ages ago, I promise. _Please_ let me go… please…”

“What’s that inside your tunic?”

Ik-soo tensed up, and before he knew it, one of the bandits had reached towards him and yanked out the ratty book he had been hiding.

“N-no, wait!” Ik-soo cried, trying to reach for it back. “Please, let me have that one; it just has stories in it… It’s the only one I have left to give to him; all the others were taken! It won’t be able to provide you anything like an informational book could.” He desperately tried to grab it from the bandit’s hand, but he pulled it out of his reach, and Ik-soo fell onto the cold ground.

_“Anything_ can provide _something_ of worth; if someone wants this, we can trade it for something better.” He paused, staring down at Ik-soo, who was scrambling to get to his feet, pitifully. “…If you’ve managed to survive for this long on your own, even after being attacked, you must have some kind of ‘divine protection’ or something from that pathetic god of yours.”

He murmured a “let’s go” to the others, and with a final glance at Ik-soo, they were gone.

Ik-soo wasn’t sure how long he laid there after that.

 

* * *

 

“You don’t look so good. Sit awhile?”

“…Yes, thank you.”

Ik-soo quietly moved towards the old man who had called out to him as he was aimlessly wandering through this village, and sat down next to him without a word. The man looked tired and worn from both age and life, and one of his legs appeared to be injured beyond repair.

He let Ik-soo have his silence for a long while, and seemed to understand what was burdening him even without him saying anything.

Finally, Ik-soo spoke.

“I… My reason for traveling, for _living_ , was to help people. As I priest, I’m supposed to offer hospitality, hope, and spiritual guidance to those in need. To help those who needed help, to give them what they didn’t have. And I thought I could. I so desperately wanted- no, I _still_ want to… and I have helped some people. So many have treated me with kindness, and were grateful for me conveying God’s wisdom to them.” His eyes blurred again at this point. “…But I want to do more than that. So many have nothing, and deserve everything. …And I can’t give it to them, no matter how much I wish to. …In a way, the ones who were thankful for what I told them hurt more than those who wanted nothing to do with me, because I _want to give each and every one of them so much more_ … but I can’t. I can’t, and I never will be able to, I now believe.”

Ik-soo was openly crying now, and the old man sighed, staring up at the sky.

“The world is a cruel place, and there’s no one out there who has the power to do so who would willingly help people like us. We don’t matter; never have. When I was young, I was proud to be enlisted in the military; I thought that defending my tribe from those who would do it and its leader harm was the highest honor available. …But once I became crippled, I became useless, and tossed away, back where I had come from. They had no use for me anymore,” he said bitterly. “…Now my family is long dead and gone, and I will be soon as well.” He paused for a moment, and then said quietly “your determination to help everyone is honorable and just, and you are a kind person, I can see. …But no one can help everyone, it’s just not possible. No matter how much you pray, the gods have long since abandoned us. …It’s hopeless.”

Ik-soo knew he should have felt angry at the old man’s proclamations about the gods… but he didn’t have the energy to. “I was always taught… to help people…” he began listlessly. “…But I was naïve to think I could help everyone. …If only… if only King Hiryuu of old was still with us. …I wonder what he, someone who loved humans with all his heart, would think if he saw the world now…” He trailed off, and the old man scoffed.

“Well…” he said after a moment. “…Even if you can’t help everyone… do you have any family to return to, at least? I’m guessing not… but perhaps there is someone out there who you mean the world to… even if you haven’t met them yet.”

Ik-soo jerked his head up, his heart constricting even more.

“There… there was a child I met, months ago, in the summer.” He let out a small sob. “…He attacked me in an attempt to get anything I had of value, but once he realized I had nothing, he offered me shelter for the night, and even healed the injury he had given me previously.” Ik-soo’s eyes shined with tears as he remembered that fleeting but happy time he had spent with Yoon; it had been months ago now, but it was still so clear in his memory.

“He was so… so _excited_ to hear that I traveled all over the kingdom… He was bright, very bright, and he wanted to learn so much, wanted so much knowledge that he simply couldn’t gain in that small, lonely village… So I told him I would… bring some books for him to read. It was the _least_ I could do. …But in the end, they were all stolen from me. Every last one, gone, and I couldn’t hold onto any of them no matter how hard I tried,” Ik-soo wept softly. “I was _certain_ I could do this, even just this… but in the end, I failed that too. …I’m… a failure.”

What was the point of it all anymore; what was his purpose? He couldn’t provide happiness and hope to anyone he met, and he couldn’t even give Yoon what he wanted in the end, couldn’t make that little boy’s face light up with joy and excitement again. He had nothing left, and he was starving, and it was so, _so_ cold…

“You should go back to see him.”

Ik-soo turned his head slowly to face the old man, not sure if he had heard him right.

“It doesn’t matter that you failed in your mission for him; if he’s truly a good boy, he won’t care about that. …You miss him, don’t you?” he asked, smiling sadly. “Return to him. Who knows… maybe he misses you too.”

Ik-soo stared at the ground for a long time, thoughts swirling around in his mind.

“Maybe… maybe you are right,” he finally said softly. Even if it turned out Yoon really didn’t want to see him anymore, he should at least take responsibility for failing to keep his promise… if he hadn’t forgotten about him already, that is. …Once he did that, Ik-soo felt he would be at peace.

He stood up, and turned towards the old man, smiling sadly.

“Thank you for your wisdom, even if you don’t see it as such. …Even if you don’t believe he exists, I shall pray to God that you will find happiness in Heaven.”

The old man smirked, and chuckled a little.

“…Actually, if you want to help someone out a little right here and now, get me some water from the well, would you?”

 

* * *

 

“Ik-soo!! What happened to you?! How did you get those injuries? And you’re dressed so lightly…”

He was immediately struck by how concerned Yoon seemed for him right away. As soon as he had laid eyes on the boy, he had so desperately wanted to run up to him and hold him and never let go, but he had restrained from saying anything… Yoon sounding so worried for him was almost more than he could bear though.

“…I’m sorry for taking so long to come back,” Ik-soo said softly, crouching down to Yoon’s level. “There were many things I gathered to give you… but those who wanted the golden beads took them all. I didn’t even have a book left. I was given a few golden beads by my master when I… left the castle, when I was small… but in truth, I didn’t have a single bead left over anymore since a long time ago.”

He swallowed thickly, and his voice cracked as he continued, Yoon looking at him sadly.

“Yoon, I am… going far away. I want to be around people, but… I, who once possessed the golden beads, have called forth something bad within people I’m around.” He reached up and cupped Yoon’s face in his hands, savoring this moment for as long as it would last. “In the end, I wanted to see your face. Making sandals with you… was fun. …Goodbye.”

Ik-soo stood up, willing himself to hold his smile, and turned around, burning the image of Yoon into his mind forever.

But before he could walk away, he felt a little tug on his tunic.

“…I’m going. I’m going too!”

His heart stopped at Yoon’s words, and he turned back around slowly.

“I… can’t go out in public very much…” he said weakly. “…And I won’t be able to go to the capitol. Even the books-“

“That’s fine!!” Yoon interrupted suddenly. “It doesn’t matter if I can’t go to the capitol! I don’t care about the books either. You can teach me, Ik-soo!”

He stood there, dumbfounded, watching the tears form in Yoon’s eyes as he continued talking.

“It’s… dangerous for you to wobble around when you walk… and… and I…”

He suddenly grabbed Ik-soo around the waist in a fierce hug, openly crying.

_“I’m probably the only one who will be able to rub medicine on you!!”_

He had never before felt such intense happiness and love than he did from Yoon in that moment, and he sank back down to the ground, hugging him tightly back, and thanking the gods he _did_ know existed for giving him this child, who loved him despite everything.

In the end, it turned out he _had_ managed to help someone. He hadn’t failed. Rather, he had succeeded better than he ever could have imagined.

Ik-soo had found his purpose, his reason for living. He was loved by someone, _needed_ by someone.

_“…Thank you, Yoon.”_


End file.
